We met in the pouring rain in July. I was only wearing a t-shirt and a skirt, and I marched bravely through the storm until he appeared out of nowhere and shielded me with his umbrella.

It seemed as if we were never apart because during those brief moments when he wasn’t around I could see his face at the back of my eyes, I could hear him whispering sweet nothings and poetry lines into my ear. I could feel his touch even when his fingertips weren’t lingering on me.

I’m starting to see dark in his eyes and monthly check ups morphed into weekly ones.

When he told me, it was as if someone snapped all the strings in me; like I was some ancient piano – there were that many strings breaking.

I don’t sleep anymore, I’m afraid you’ll disappear if I close my eyes. I sing you lullabies, although I’m terrified that there will be no one to listen to them in the morning.

Each day I’m blesses to have you beside me and I count each night and day, so I can keep them for the rest of my days.

You try to push me out. You don’t want me seeing you like this. How can you not understand that you will always be beautiful to me?
I can’t see the black nails and faded skin, cracked like paper. Those are the sights you describe.
Tell me I’m blind; tell me anything at all, just let me stay by your side.
I don’t want to fight.

The time we got was too short but it was ours, no one can take that away.

Your blue eyes don’t open anymore but I can hear you breathe and I silently count your heartbeats.
Can my lips make them go on?
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Your pain went away.

Nothing changed. I still see you everywhere; hear you in the rustling leaves; feel your touch every time water swallows me. I still love you. And maybe because I said ‘goodnight’ and not ‘goodbye’, I won’t have to separate, forget and move on. Maybe it won’t be forever.