Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 


Each night, eight pairs of miniature, pale baby hands clutch my neck in a bewildered hope, a little too tight for me to breathe. They want me to stop for what I did to them, and maybe I will. I’ll hold my breath for eternity to forget the nightmare you carelessly blessed me with.
©2009 ~kibirkstele
:iconkibirkstele:

Author's Comments

Okay, I really really need some serious critique for this one. Don't sugar coat anything, anything at all.

Its for *Flash-Fic-Month. The task was to write a story that is exactly 55 words. I thought it will be ridiculously hard BUT it came out fairly easily, which is the reason it sucks. A lot.
So please help me make it better, I still have about 28hours until the deadline closes, and about 5 or 6 until it opens.

Word count at the moment: glorious 55!

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icondischanted-love:
Thats really good!!

1) you had to encorporate the number 8 in there somewhere! he he... sorry I'm a stickler for the rules lol!

--
:heart: ~ With love Erin - Marie ~ :heart:
:iconnewhugplz:
:iconkibirkstele:
oh, i forgot thanks!!!

--
Life is lies, so the honest play with the dead.

I WRITE with a pen, TYPING with a keyboard comes latter.


URBAN NOISE cares, do YOU?
:iconkibirkstele:
But now I end up with 59 words..! :ohnoes:

--
Life is lies, so the honest play with the dead.

I WRITE with a pen, TYPING with a keyboard comes latter.


URBAN NOISE cares, do YOU?
:icondischanted-love:
I just put mine up!!!

--
:heart: ~ With love Erin - Marie ~ :heart:
:iconnewhugplz:
:icondischanted-love:
Lol I had such a hard time!!

--
:heart: ~ With love Erin - Marie ~ :heart:
:iconnewhugplz:
:iconkibirkstele:
I fixed it!!! take a look now!!

--
Life is lies, so the honest play with the dead.

I WRITE with a pen, TYPING with a keyboard comes latter.


URBAN NOISE cares, do YOU?
:iconkibirkstele:
already checked it out. :)

--
Life is lies, so the honest play with the dead.

I WRITE with a pen, TYPING with a keyboard comes latter.


URBAN NOISE cares, do YOU?
:icondischanted-love:
Ok maybe I would say instead of stop... I would say "pay".. thats just my prefrence

--
:heart: ~ With love Erin - Marie ~ :heart:
:iconnewhugplz:
:iconkibirkstele:
Good idea, I'll definitely give it some thought, but now I gotta do some paper work for work [lol, incidental pun] and possibly go to bed, or do more packing maybe bed though.. After all it is 2.30am.....

--
Life is lies, so the honest play with the dead.

I WRITE with a pen, TYPING with a keyboard comes latter.


URBAN NOISE cares, do YOU?

Details

July 7
391 bytes

Statistics

36
3 [who?]
74 (1 today)
2 (0 today)

Site Map